Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Return of Something No One Missed

This week we remember when Joe use to be funny.

Okay, let me start of by answering the question that is on both of your minds. YES, I am drunk and YES I did leave you hanging without the gem for a good while. Let me just say that I am sorry I had to get drunk to bring back the Rant. I'm going to try to do this different from the last two incarnations. Firstly, I am going to try and do this one a week. In the 4 years I have been doing this it has never been weekly and irony be damned this version will be. Secondly, this will be the first version outside of a BCP site. While this is still a Battle Circus Production (www.battlecircus.net); there is no real "BCP" website for original content. We have found our voice as the greatest forum known to God (www.battlecircus.net/phpBB2) and that's the main BCP attraction.

So I am going to bring back "Shabadu the Weekly Rant" on this here blog. Personally I think that this is my biggest sellout to date. I mean a fucking blog?! Even my diabetic one legged uncle has one of these. He also has a drinking problem and a thing for 11 year-olds, but the 11 year old fetish isn't genetic apparently (She told me she was 14. I mean who am I to call someone a liar, I told her I was 16). This blog is the best way I can think of for me to keep writing Weekly Rant and for no one to ever read it.

So this is a new beginning for "Weekly Rant", but a lot of the same old crap. Jokes at my own expense and jokes about raping teenage girls are sure to keep you satisfied. Not to mention all the gay porn I'm gonna post, if pop culture has taught me anything it's that gay guys love gay porn. I need to reach out to every demographic so I can get fancy endorsements.

In other news...

Gay people can't get married. Am I the only person who things that this is the greatest thing ever? Apparently not everyone agrees with me and they think that Gay's should have the same rights as every American. Even powerful celeb couples are saying they won't tie the not until homosexuals are allowed too. Fuck them and fuck gay marriage.

Recently I have been getting a lot of email about my thoughts on the War in Iraq. Before the war I said I was for going in and taking oil and that I hope we keep our army there for at least 10 years to teach the rest of that region a lesson. It appears that the rest of the region isn't listening to our bullets. Iran has only gotten stronger and for some reason some guy in Veneswayla (I think that's how you spell it, I'm not in the business of spelling the names of countries not named U.S.A.) is calling our president the Devil. What this means is that we had to invade the Middle East to prove our point to South America. This has to be the biggest fuck up in US history. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT SOUTH AMERICA?! I mean it's fucking badass to be called the devil, but by people in South America? This war was a huge mistake. Vinesswayla only gives us 10% of our oil and who gets gas at Citgo anyway?

Talking Points

So I am getting shitty hours at the Alley. And by shitty I mean that I work 2 days a week; and it's been like this for the past month. I got my friend's Javier and James a job there and on the days I work with them I have a great time. Javier is the same asshole who got me a job at Smoothie King and quit the same month. I get my revenge on him by giving him the best job he could ever have and he repays me showing up to work every day and on time. JESUS CHRIST I HATE HIM. If I hadn't got him the job at the Alley there would be more hours for me to work. In honor of how much I hate him this section will no longer be about my job or my hate for Javier Ramos. When I figure out what will become of Talking Points I'll be the first to know.

Picture of the Week



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