The One About an Idea

Okay so let me get this out of the way now. YES! This is the second issue this week, and I plan to make this a twice a week thing now. Adjust your calendars accordingly.

Okay so I just had maybe the best idea you have ever heard. Are you ready?

Hobbit Porn.

Shit yes I said Hobbit Porn. People think pornography exploits the women in the films, but in reality it exploits the men who purchase these films alone at 3 am. I mean sure the girl behind the counter is moderately attractive, but you clearly have no chance with her. SHE IS SELLING YOU PORN! She knows what you are about to do, or what you just did in that room with the light in the back of the store. She likes to look at you with her judging eyes, judging you, but even she knows that porn is a big business. Porn is the reason Beta Max lost to VHS and soon it will decide if Blu Ray or HD-DVD will be the new standard format. Because who the hell wants a DVD player that can’t play porn? Hobbit Porn is my ticket into the biz; it will make me a major player in the lucrative pornography game. Mel Gibson alone made half a billion in 2004. AND THAT WAS FROM JUST ONE MOVIE! Hobbit porn has mega hit written in semen all over it.

You see Hobbit Porn is porn involving the lovable little guys created by Peter Jackson in his award winning miniseries “The Lord of the Rings”. Hobbits are short lovable creatures that love rings, food, mischief and marijuana. These characters are so damn likable that I would imagine they are pretty hot while having sex. It is that hotness that I plan to film in the back of my SUV and give to the world. As I said early this week I plan to get more involved with gay porn ( wow that sounded gay), and at its heart Hobbit Porn is two very small men having sex with each other and maybe some type of large bird. So be ready, soon my new Hobbit porn will be the next big thing.

Be ready for “Share the Load”

In other news...

As I write this Boy Meets World is on the Disney Channel. I use to enjoy this show when I was the same age as Corey. When he went to High School I went to Middle School. When he went to College I went to High School. It was these college years that I stopped liking Boy Meets World. Corey Mathews turned into the biggest douche on ABC; and this was when Michael Eisner was still around. IF SHAWN DOESN’T WANT TO READ HIS POEMS IN PUBLIC RESPECT THAT YOU WHINEY BITCH! Also what the fuck was up with Mr. Feenie working at the college they went to after working at the high school they went to after working at the elementary school they went to. Smells like a pedophile that can't move on to me.

Talking Points

ESPN fired Jason Whitlock this week and I am very sad. Jason Whitlock is one of the few people who worked for the world leader that wasn’t afraid to talk shit about it. Tony Kornheiser does it a lot, but he is untouchable. Jason criticized Scoop Jackson and Mike Lupica in a recent interview and this lead to his termination from the network and it’s web site. I have been a fan of Jason for around 4 years now and like him I miss when Hunter S. Thompson and Ralph Wiley wrote for ESPN.com’s “Page 2”. Both these men are no longer with the living world and with Jason gone “Page 2” isn’t the same site I originally fell in love with. Thankfully I still have Bill Simmons.

Picture of the Week