A Comedy of Eras

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My blog last week has been very controversial.  It was so controversial that no one has read it.  I just want to make it clear that I do not think that all white people are racist.  That would be racist to think.

White people are not "racist". It's just that white people HATE it when Black people don't "know their place". Ask any racist and they will let you know how racist that is not.

Everyone has seen the video of the child in SC that was dragged from her desk while in class.  Most people would see the video as a grown man overreacting and manhandling a child.  A child that was female.  (In the U.S. beating women outside of the comforts of ones home is frowned upon.) Some people were rightfully outraged by this.  The child was Black. If you watch the video and have even a passing knowledge of US history, you will know that race probably played a VERY BIG role in that child being dragged across the floor in front of a group of her peers. The officer was white. What would make this white cop go off on this poor Black child who's crime was refusing to leave class? It's pretty simple, she didn't know her place.

White people don't hate black people because of the color of their skin. It just irks the ever-living fuck out of them when a black person or black people are anything other than completely subservient to white people. In questioning this white mans authority this young girl committed the worst crime imaginable in his eyes. Her ignoring the words of a white man was equal to kicking him in the dick. That's why the cop reacted the way he did. This child had just kicked him in the dick. We all know how small white male penises are. (Particularly white police officers)  Ignoring a white officers commands is like calling a black person a nigger and if that officer had called her that then people would know he was racist.  What else could he do? He had drag her on the ground because she had just kicked his very small dick.  She's lucky she still has all of her teeth. (Not confirmed) Assaulting a black child is not an act of racism, only using the N-word is.

You see, white men don't like it when you don't listen to them.  Ask a white woman. No man loves to to be ignored, but for the entire history of the United States you HAD to listen to white men.  If you didn't they would kill you.

Last week I posted this:

 If there is one theme to American Racism it’s:

1.  Black people complain about white racism
2. White people rationalize white racism.
3. White racism continues.

This is the pattern I see every time. It's happened to this case. There is an outcry of white people who will justify what the officer did. It's the same cycle. They don't see racism because racism does not exist.

White people in America are the decision makers. They decide what is and what isn't racist and they have decided to hold black people responsible for any perceived racism. Just look at the recent tweet from Rupert Murdoch or read any post on the national review.

Slavery was the fault of the Africans. Jim Crow was the fault of the freed slaves. Race relations today are what they are because black people.

This country sucks.

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Back in Blackface

This is Halloween, this is Halloween...

It’s blackface season again.  It’s that time of year where we get to hate-share images of clueless white people donning black face paint for a stupid Halloween costume that was a bad idea without the makeup.  Every Halloween we are guaranteed the annual spread of clueless white people being clueless followed by a fake-ass apology.  I used to get outraged about it, but at this point in my life I have given up hope that clueless white people will stop doing stupid racist shit. 

Clueless white people will never stop doing blackface, because they don’t understand why it is racist.  Hell, even some of the people spreading images of these clueless assholes don’t understand why blackface is racist.  There is the LONG history of minstrel shows of the 19^th century.  Those existed to dehumanize blackness in the new era of black freedom.  White people no longer owned black people as property and rather than except black people into society as equals we got segregation and subjugation.  Blackface was a purposeful part of that.  Make black people a joke and you never have to take them seriously. 

This history alone should be enough for white people to never do blackface again, but with clueless white people being clueless white people, it is not.  If there is one theme to American Racism it’s:

1.  Black people complain about white racism
2. White people rationalize white racism.
3. White racism continues.

So shockingly we still have blackface.

The clueless Halloween white people see nothing wrong in grabbing some face paint or shoe polish to play dress up as a famous black person.  The joke here being, “Hey look at me! I’m black!” The clueless white people who we see in these images don’t see anything wrong with blackface today because how else can they play a black person? 

Black people are only the color of of their skin. When this young woman thinks of Nicki Minaj she doesn’t think of one of the most unique success stories in pop music.  She only sees black skin and a big ass. When this clueless white man, who is a teacher, thinks of Kanye West it's black skin and some glasses from a video that's ten fucking years old.  I mean goddamn. Kanye wears some tacky shit, but this guys outfit is nothing like anything Kanye would wear. ( A backwards cap? Fuck this guy for his laziness alone.) To clueless ass white people famous black artists are characters; characters worthy of imitation and mockery. The joke IS the color of their skin.  The black skin and the big ass are the only things they see that distinguish Nicki Minaj as anything other than nothing. 

These clueless assholes get to be "black" for a night and wash it away.  And if they are really lucky they get to go viral and apologize because they didn't think they did anything wrong. We will mock them and hate them.  Then some idiots will defend them.  Then we wait to do this again next year.

Happy Halloween.

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Baedolf Hitler

This may get me into some trouble...

My twitter feed is currently full of people making jokes about “Baby Hitler”.  NYT Magazine asked its readers if they could go back in time and kill Baby Hitler would they?

This has been a common question forever and I have long noticed people who say if they have access to a time machine they would go back and kill Hitler. It's rarely end slavery or save Martin or Malcolm. It’s almost always kill Hitler. It's because he's the most identifiable evil white person ever, right?  “Let's get that motherfucker off the books!” Nobody's hypothetically going back to kill Genghis Khan. Hitler is the biggest villain of this era and no one else is even close. Bin Laden is jealous of Hitler’s PR team.

I sort of appreciate Hitler. Not in the I agree with anything he said or did (I do not, to be clear), but in the what he says about white people sort of appreciation. Hitler is still our human embodiment of evil.  He's our go to every time we want to call someone awful or evil. Hitler is also white. Super fucking white. You can't shake how white he is. Honestly, a part of me is really happy that the world’s biggest villain is a white man. You just can’t ignore his awfulness, racism, or his whiteness. (Though many people do! Racism be crazy) He can’t be whitewashed away easily.  When I think about it more and more though I do think Hitler has endured in infamy in part because of that whiteness. White people get to have the world’s biggest bad guy. We are a culture that loves villains. I don’t put it past racism to elevate the evil white person’s stature over an evil minority.  (I am not complaining about that!) It’s the smaller vilification of minorities that is more troubling.  Hitler is such a big bad white villain other white offenses are easier to overlook in white eyes.  (Jim Crow and Japanese Internment)

I think the Baby Hitler hypothetical comes up so often because if someone did go back and kill Hitler, and you’re a white person, your world doesn’t really change much.  White people get to enjoy him both ways. They can hate him and live in the world in which he was defeated.  And they can know the fact that if he had won, they would still be on top. 

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We did it!

June 1st, 2012 is the day I achieved what few people thought would be possible.

I successfully traveled through time.

Actually, maybe August 5th, 2015 is a more accurate date for my accomplishment.  I'm still getting use to the fickleness of what we call time.  Or, rather what you call time.  Maybe, I am uncertain and this is still new to me.  If you have been a long time reader of this blog you know that it was originally called, WEEKLY RANT. (Weakly Rant may have been more accurate)  This blog was just that, weekly.  As I am sure you are fully aware the last update came April 5th, 2012.  Four weeks before my unprecedented jump in time.  To those who have waiting these agonizing 173 weeks, I apologize. I did not know how far my jump would take me.  I did not know it would increase the size of my penis to pornstarical proportions.  I did not know that I could only go forwards and not backwards, but here we are. You, the reader of a poorly written blog on a mostly defunct Google platform and me.  Me, a man lost in time.  I mean what the fuck happened in three years?!

1. Apparently, racism is back? I mean didn't Obama end that?  How the fuck did he get elected again and still not end racism?

2.  I don't work at the Alley anymore?! How they hell did I pull that off?

3. Hannah Montana did what?! No, really what did she do?

4.  Was Drake a thing in 2012? Meek Mill really needs to come back swinging.

5.  I'm ready to write again.  It's only been a month for me, but its been three long years for you. Just know I am back, for better or worst.  I have three years of pop culture and politics to catch up so each week I will tackle something I missed in better hopes I can make you understand it better. (I understand everything already) So lets see how long this lasts.

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Next Week:  Why I plan to vote for Donald Trump...