I am not a gun.

This week I destroy my already fragile mental state…

As I am sure all my readers know I am what they call "All That is Man". I'm pretty sure Adam looked exactly like me because God made Adam in his image and so forth. In the history of my legendary existence there have been a handful of times where my eyes have pissed all over my face (still in the most manly way possible). Some people (pussies) call this act crying and while I am tougher than most even I am not immune to the occasional emotion. Seeing as America is a countdownin' and rankin' lovin' society I am now going to list the five movies that have ever made me cry. The numbers have no value, but they look pretty don't they.

5. Terms of Endearment

Yes, I watched Terms of Endearment. Yes, it made me cry like a little bitch. I watched this movie a month after cancer took my father's life. It was on TV and nothing else was on so I watched it and preceded to relive the death of my father.

4. The Green Mile

SPOILERS I guess, but the killing of John Coffee made we cry the first time I was this film. It does a good job of making you enjoy a mentally challenged man and then see him die a meaningless painful death. Kudos Durabont you got me.

3. Wall-E

Sniff...I'm still crying actually....This movie is one of the best movies this decade and easily the best romantic comedy I have ever seen. TAKE THAT KATE HUDSON!

2. The Iron Giant

Two words, "Super...Man" (That's two words right?)

1. Field of Dreams

I don't really have to explain this one. My father's death in 2002 was the biggest emotional event of my adult life. Losing a parent is very hard, but losing your father as you truly become a man is even tougher. There is isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him and I am glad Ray Consella got what so many of us wish we could have. Even if its only for one game of catch.

In other news…

I need to vent. 2009 has been the single worst year of my life. 2002, the previous king of awful, had very little competition, but with only six months 2009 has ruined me forever. For anyone that didn’t know, at 6:00 p.m. Sunday, May 31^st, 2009 I had a major car accident. In the small town of Clute, TX my 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer and a 2003 Ford Ranger had a head on collusion. For legal reasons that is all I will say about the accident. I will say that at 6:00 p.m., Sunday, May 31^st, 2009 whoever I was before that moment essentially died. I am not the same person. I process information differently. I may seem the same externally, but the world in my brain is not a place I like to live anymore. All of this hurts more because at 5:59 p.m., Sunday, May 31^st, 2009 I was happy, very happy. For the first time since my father died in 2002 I was in a good place emotionally. I was still manly as they come, just sad my dad wasn't around to see how awesome I was. I had a well paying job, a moderate number of friends, a girl who let me touch her, all three major video game consoles, and damn near every episode of MST3K on my computer. I was doing better than Bernie Madoff circa 2007. Like all good things, however it ended quickly and without warning. I now have limited use of my left arm and wrist. I have severe pain in both ankles. I have medical bills that make my student loans look reasonable. I wish none of this ever happened to me, but we don’t get to pick and choose the bad shit that happens to us. A wise man once said,” I don’t want to go through life without any scars.” Well he didn’t get a look at my left hand. Fucker.

I’m glad no one reads my blog because this was hard for me to write. Its one thing to talk about it when asked, but writing it alone makes me relive everything that happened to me after 6:00 p.m. Sunday, May 31^st, 2009. It was the toughest and most painful thing I have endured in my adult life. I’m not writing this for anyone to read and feel sorry for me. (If you do feel sorry for me please send any and all donations to: “One Armed” Joe Sterling/ 615 Texas Ave./Houston, TX 77002) This post is for me May 31^st, 2010. I really hope you’re doing better, you large rock of a man.

Picture of the Week

Next week: We talk about HOT MEGAN FOX NUDE PICS in another shameless attempt at more readers….