I have had a lot on my mind recently, I am 26 years old. Yes, I know 26 is the new 22 3/4, but I am starting to feel like the best years of my life are behind me. I only have mind-crippling depression, more debt, and more illegitimate children to look forward to. So, I need to make a drastic life change. One so drastic that it will make my last 7 drastic life changes look like stupid ideas I gave up on the moment they became challenging. I know what you are saying to yourself 1) "does this guy ever proof read?" 2) "How is this different from the novel or the yearly movie blog?" 3)"penis." Well, fuck you. I’m going to get more involved with politics. My old age has made me care more about the proud country we live in.
We here at the Rant tried to keep our nose clean of politics. I can only think of one other instance I have ever written something political in a rant and to my delight it won an Emmy. (I'm still not sure how that happened) Right now our nation is fighting about Obama’s proposed Health Care Reform. I have health insurance. The best fucking health insurance this side of Canada and after seeing my life flash before my eyes in a horrific car accident I have decided I would like to live forever. If for some reason I couldn’t live forever I would atleastlike to live to be the oldest man in the world. My health insurance is fantastic, but they have not found a cure for death (yet). Now the way this ties into ObamaCare is with the proposed “death panels” so many people are riled up about. The Fox News has been all over this. I am a strong supporter of population reduction. Scientist Dr. Al Gore has proven that man is killing this planet. I don't see how anyone can go green and have children. By creating more people we are only killing our planet and ourselves. We need to drastically decrease our population so I am really excited that Obama has seen this and is doing something about it. By providing health care to the young and killing the old, President Obama has put the future ahead of the present or past.
Conservatives however do not like this plan at all. According to the GOP the murdering of the elderly should be left to drunk drivers and HMO’s. I honestly think everyone should be for these death panels, Dems and Republicans alike. It pains me to see the hostility at town hall meetings. Some people have even decided to bring guns to these protests. Personally, I'm not a gun nut. I have no problem with RESPONSNABLE people owning guns for protection, recreation, or robberies. I honestly feel anyone who would bring an Assault Rifle to a protest with hundreds of people around should not be allowed to have a gun. Yet this is what happened three fucking times. I understand why some would be slow to act on "killing" innocent people, but removal of these people would greatly improve the current situation of this country. People just need time to accept it; we didn't want to murder Muslims in 1999. If we go through with Obama Care the sky is the limit:
1. If we kill the old, the unemployment rate should fix itself. Old people and cripples don’t fucking work. Kill those worthless sacks of shit.
2. If we kill the old, lines at grocery stores will be faster. Cuz the few old people that do work won’t be hogging all the cushy jobs at Kroger’s and Wal-Mart.
3. Less Granny porn. I mean really that’s just gross. It needs to stop.
4. We can make it a sport. Who wouldn’t love to visit the Kill Old Folks camp just 30 minutes outside of Las Vegas. We can finally hunt natures most dangerous game, Man
5. No one will talk shit about how new things suck and the past was great. We can forget the past ever happened.
I mean really that’s just the shit I came up with at lunch. We need to support ObamaCare!
In other news...I am a huge fan of ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption. I think Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon are two of the funniest and smartest guys on television. During my recent 2-month house arrest I got to look at a lot of television. I mean A LOT more than any normal person should watch. (I watched 4 hours of Cash Cab a day.) PTI recently started doing a sort of look in during commercial breaks. After one or two commercials the camera would show in studio TK and Wilbon talking or writing or doing whatever they do during the break. I thought it was a fantastic idea. It lets the fans see more of the stars and feel semi included in the behind the scenes happenings of the popular TV show. Then I started to see this on many other TV shows and I began to piece it together. They fucking tricked me into watching commercials. It’s a brilliant trick. It’s even better than “Trivia Question to be answered after the break”.
Picture of the Week
No comments:
Post a Comment