The One That REALLY Sucks

Okay This week I have to get something off my chest. This is easily the worst rant I have ever written. I promised two updates a week and I was on pace with it for one week....then week 2 happened. I wrote this rant at work at 11 p.m. First off, I was at work at 11p.m.; this would have lead to someones death when I worked at Smoothie King. Secondly, This was so bad that I decided to I was going to destroy it and rewrite a new one, but I got busy and lazy. REALLY LAZY. You see my failure is our failure. I fail to be funny and you who read fail to have the common sense to not read this. So here is my worst rant ever....

until next weeks


This week will be an old school sexy version of the Rant. Meaning it will be really short and not worth the effort.

The beginnings of a new console generation is appon us and I know many of you trust my gaming knowledge when you purchase games and consoles. I know that whatever system I recommend in the column could very well decide the champion of the next console generation. This much power is not an easy thing to live with and I don't want to destroy another company like I did with Sega and it's Dreamcast. I am going to wait until I have all 3 of the new gen systems before I recommend one, but I am going to take this time to talk about Microsoft and it's consoles.

Microsoft released the Xbox last generation as it's entry into the video gaming industry. It finished second in overall sales to the PS2 and has a strong fanbase of die hard fans who we in the business call idiots. Only 4 years after the release of it's Xbox Microsoft released it's Xbox 360 breaking the unspoken rule between console makes that there must be at least 5 years between new consoles so the fan base doesn't get fucked in the ass by a new console every year or every other year. Microsoft said fuck this rule because they felt getting out their console first would get them on the minds of gamers first and would lead to them winning the console race. Sony's PS2 won the last generation and it's being the first console on the market was one of the reasons people said it won. Well Sony didn't release it only 4 goddamn years after the ps1; and ps1 had clearly been the most popular of it's generation. Microsoft didn't give a shit about rules they released the 360 and have so far sold about 5 million units.

I know you don't come here for a history lesson and the reason I said all that was to say this....FUCK XBOX! I have said this before in an older rant after Xbox games were being rereleased because the originals that I purchased were "unfinished" Ninja Gaiden: Black and Fables: The Lost Chapters were games that said "FUCK YOU" to people who paid for the original versions. Well recently I went to play my Xbox and it didn't start. I tried to move it to a new outlet in my house and still nothing. I own a goddamn xbox for 2 years and then it dies on me. I had to sell all my games and accessories for it because all the game data on my games are saved in the internal hard drive in the Xbox. If I buy a new Xbox I still have none of the data from the games I worked so goddamn hard to beat. If the 360 is anything like the original Xbox you are fucked a year from now.

FUCK BILL GATES AND ALL THE MONEY HE GIVES TO DYING PEOPLE HE SHOULD GIVE ME THE $500+ I HAVE SPENT ON HIS SHITTY CONSOLE AND IT'S SHITTY GAMES.

In other news...

Recently I have gotten a lot of hate mail about something I said in a previous rant. I would just like to say that I am sorry and that I had no idea that Ben Savage was still alive or that he had internet access. I like many talent scouts assumed he was as dead as his career. I am deeply sorry I ever mentioned his hit 90's sitcom in any way.

Talking Points

Fuck Xbox.

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