Back in 2008 it was announced that Rage Against the Machine would be playing Lollapalooza in Chicago in August 2008. I knew I had to go. They had broken up years ago and only God would know if they would ever do another show again. So without a second thought I bought a ticket to the show with no idea how I would get there or where I would sleep when I got there. Thanks to a friend I was able to get 2 round trip standby tickets and after getting a second job (at my normal job, which was complicated) I was able to pull it off. I got to see Rage and I got to pussy out of standing in the pit the entire show. I do not regret getting the fuck out of the pit because I enjoyed the hell out of seeing the band and not having to deal with a bunch of angry white people hitting each other because that’s what white people do for fun. Sorry, white people. So because I took the risk and went to Chicago to see Rage I have this great experience I will cherish for 3-4 years. The adventures I had my week in Chicago could fill a book jacket, but that’s not why I mentioned Lolla 08. In the wake of the horrible thing that happened to me a couple of months ago (you know…crabs) I have been rethinking my life and how I do things. I did have something life changing happen to me, but I did not see any light or angels or hear God. I only saw my face covered in my own blood and I only heard my own horrible screams for help. The only major life change I would like tight now is an increase in income, but Ray Bolger is still keeping me down. Minor changes would include writing a lot more. I know the three of you who read this are really clamoring for me to write more.
So I have decided that I will go to the South by Southwest Film festival next March. I have been in Austin many times during SXSW, but never have I gone to the movie festival. I promise to write the same kind of life changing reviews I wrote for the chick flicks only this time they will be more awesomerer than a seal eating a lion. Fuck yes.
In other news…
I am completely losing my mind. No, this not my excuse for not writing anything last week. I am sure my loyal fans assumed I was in prison or dead. The jokes on you because I am very much alive and very much in prison. You see I watched an entire episode of Tyler Perry’s House of Pain and that only leaves me with the conclusion that I have lost any sanity I had left after Chernobyl. Tyler Perry’s House of Pain is the most offensive thing I have ever seen on television. As a black man I want shows with predominately black casts to succeed, especially when it paints them in a realistic light. Everybody Hates Chris was a good show with a large black cast. It was set in the 80’s and none of the family’s problems were race specific. If you have ever been poor you could relate to some of the issues and if you were ever a child you could relate to other issues. This summer Everybody Hate Chris was cancelled. Tyler Perry’s House of Pain is still on the air. Tyler Perry’s House of Pain is not funny, but you can’t tell it that. The canned laughs never stop in the background of the series. The show focuses on a fat black man who has all of his family living in his house while he berates them and looks like a jackass. It’s Carl Winslow and Carrot Top rolled into an obnoxious firefighter. The show would have you believe that this guy is the funniest character in the history of television. In the episode I was forced to watch he locks his son out of the house for being later after curfew. This is nothing new, but the show treats it as if this man was the CRAZIEST FATHER IN THE WORLD. Oh man he locked his son out he is carazy! The son even looks at the camera with a classic “Ah, Shucks Dad!” While the “audience” laughs with fevered delight. This makes the epic adventures of Steve Urkle look like a Eugene O’Neill masterpiece. I think I’ll just stick with Family Matters reruns. Wait…
Picture of the Week
Next week I make fun of Mexicans.
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